


I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of opening the goddamn door?"

by FailureArtist



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Abuse, Claustrophobia, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Spitefic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-30
Packaged: 2018-04-18 03:53:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,253
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4691060
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FailureArtist/pseuds/FailureArtist
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>What if when <a href="http://mspaintadventures.com/?s=6&p=009410">Dave questioned Gamzee being locked in the fridge</a> Dave didn't step down immediately?</p>
            </blockquote>





	I chime in, "Haven't you people ever heard of opening the goddamn door?"

You are Dave Strider and you are on a pad with your friends waiting for the final fight. Your alt-dimension brother is soon coming, according to Vriska. Just bring him up has made your throat hurt. You look again to the fridge.

 

“Alright!” you say, “So as long as I’m supposedly chilling and in no way wondering about my Bro...are you SURE there are no beverages in that fridge? No AJ or...”

 

“It's a blind alley, brother dawg,” answers Arquiusprite in his strange synthetic voice, “I already asked if she had milk in there once, plus another nine redundant times after that. I also asked if she would like to touch my muscles. The answers were ten no's and one yes.” He flexes his muscles. “That reminds me, Dave: would you like to touch my muscles?”

 

“Maybe later,” you say, while planning on never doing it, “So you’re sure there’s nothing to drink in there?”

 

Vriska answers exasperatedly, “Yes, Dave.”

 

“Dunno why I’m so insistent.” You look at the fridge. It’s the site of so many bad memories.  “Not like my fridge ever had anything comestible inside. Why the fuck did you even bring it?”

 

“Don't worry about it,” Vriska answers breezily.

 

“Oh come on!”

 

Terezi speaks up softly. “Gamzee's in there.”

 

A small honk comes from the fridge.

 

“Oh right. Somehow I forgot that we literally just established that you had Gamzee locked in there for some reason.” You had tried to block it out of your mind. “You sure we shouldn’t maybe...let him out?”

 

Terezi frowns at you like she’s disappointed you asked. “He'll just revive...God-tier style, right?”

 

“He’s not a fuckin god tier,” you answer with frustration, “He’s faking it, he just made that fucking suit from scratch or something. I know he’s complete trash but maybe we should just let him out? What’s the harm? It’s not like he can cause much trouble. We all way outnumber him and have way more powers and shit.”

 

“Um...” she replies uncertainly

 

Vriska declares, “No.” Her eyes grow dark. “Oh, wow. No. We will not ever be hearing from him again. No. Never, never, never again. Never. Wow.”

 

You ask, “So you’re just gonna let him suffocate in there then?

 

“Dave, give me a little more credit than that,” she says patronizingly, “Gamzee is supposedly relevant to some stuff that's going to happen in the new universe. He's still got some "plot armor" or some shit. So when Earth is resituated, I'm just going to drop the fridge in the fucking ocean or something, and let him find his own way out.”

 

You mumble out, “Ok, that’s fair. I mean...firm...but fair...well maybe not that fair but I guess I don’t care.”

 

A thirsty minute goes by while you think. Suddenly, you can’t take it longer and you burst out.

 

“No, that’s NOT fair!” you cry.

 

Everyone stops their private conversations and turns to you.

 

“Are you on about the stupid fridge thing again?” Vriska asks, “Why do you want a drink that bad?”

 

“It’s not the fucking drink, though I am thirsty. It’s just..locking someone up in a tiny space...with corpses...it’s real gross.”

 

Terezi says, “It’s only what he deserves.”

 

“Why does he deserve to be in the fridge?”

 

“Dave, you already know he killed Equius and Nepeta.”

 

“Hasn’t your girlfriend murdered thousands more?”

 

Vriska sighs. “Look, I didn’t want to kill all those stupid trolls for my lusus. And Aradia and Tavros got up in my business and I had to kill them!”

 

“Sorry, Vriska!” Tavsprite calls out automatically.

 

“But I feel reeeeeeeeally sorry about killing all those people, so it’s okay?”

 

“She has repented,” Terezi said.

 

“And maybe Gamzee could repent if he wasn’t shoved into a fridge!” you yell.

 

A small honk comes from the fridge.

 

“No way,” says Vriska, “Gamzee is too fucking shithive maggots to repent. He doesn’t know what he’s doing. That’s why he has to stay in the fridge.”

 

“That’s not what you do with crazy people. Even at the worst ‘over the cuckoo’s nest’ asylums on Earth, patients get a full padded room, not just a fucking fridge.”

 

“This isn’t Earth, Dave, not yet.”

 

“And when we do get Earth, you’re just going to slowly execute him and call it a day?”

 

“He’ll probably live.”

 

“What if he doesn’t?”

 

She shrugs. “Who cares?”

 

Meanwhile, Terezi says, “He deserves death.”

 

You turn to Terezi. “But when you thought he was God-Tier, you thought he wasn’t evil enough for a Just Death! You were okay with him dying over and over!”

 

“Well...that’s...um...”

 

“And Karkat! Weren’t you best buds with this guy?”

 

Karkat replies, “I was friends with him until he turned out to be a murderous psycho.”

 

“Don’t you wonder how he became a murderous psycho?”

 

“I’ve been told it’s a highblood thing, bro,” Arquiusprite says.

 

“But not all highbloods are murderous psychos.”

 

Karkat looks down. “Yeah, that did always sound like bullshit.” He looks back up. “But what’s your theory?”

 

“I only talked with Gamzee twice,” Dave said, holding up two fingers, “The first time, or rather second time for me, he was chill. He said he was trolling me but his trolling was weaker than Tavros. After I showed him the video, he was all talking about this bizarre creepy shit about puppets and messiahs. Maybe the video hypnotized him? We should look into that.”

 

Arquiusprite chimes in, “That does make sense.”

 

Terezi yelled, “But he’s still dangerous! We have to keep him in there!”

 

“He isn’t so dangerous he needs to be fucking locked in a fridge. You managed to tie him up and Vriska managed to keep him under control all trip.”

 

Vriska flips her hair. “It was nothing. His mind is soooooooo simple.”

 

“See? Besides, he’s probably been weakened after being crammed into that fridge for hours. This ends now.”

 

“I worked hard to put him in that fridge,” Vriska growls, “And you are not going to undo my work, dumbass.”

 

You take out your sword for the first time in years. Everyone gasps.

 

“Try and stop me,” you say.

 

She moves away as you slice off the chain. After taking off the chain, you open the fridge. Instead of weapons, you are flooded with the smell of rot and shit. The corpses of Nepeta, Eridan, and Feferi are there along with Gamzee’s thin but tall body. He is wrapped up as tight as can be. Even when your brother put you in the fridge, he left some room. There couldn’t be any air in there. At first, you think your rescue came too late, but then you hear the victim panting.

 

“See,” says Vriska, holding her nose, “He’s still alive. No need to worry.”

 

“He’s barely alive,” you say to Vriska.

 

You then turn to Gamzee. “I’m here to rescue you, trash clown.”

 

He softly honks. You remove the other bodies before taking him out. He is absolutely filthy but you don’t care. Putting his head on your shoulders, he starts crying. This is the dangerous psycho clown? You pat his back.

 

Terezi mutters, “He’s faking it somehow. I don’t trust him.”

 

Vriska adds, “I’ll probably need to knock him out again.”

 

“When did you become Gamzee’s moirail?” Karkat says and you can detect some jealousy.

 

You don’t care what the naysayers say. You did the right thing. Finally, you are a hero. This time, the knight saved the monster. This is the first step in a miraculous friendship.


End file.
